Networking So Hard, We Forgot the Whole Point

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Let's talk about fatigue.

We all feel it from time to time. We might feel a variation of fatigue from the way we make our coffee every morning, so we switch from hazelnut to pistachio syrup. We might get sick of the way we dress up our cheeseburger with only ketchup and decide to reach for mustard and pickles next time. Just me? Anyways, it's completely normal and human to feel fatigued from our routines.

One common theme I've noticed since starting my professional career is about a different kind of fatigue: networking fatigue. When it comes to networking events, I've heard different expressions of "I see the same people every time", "I'm not really sure if that was worth my time", or "Does it even make sense for me to make the trip?"

It's hard for me to hear as someone starting out because relationships in my personal and professional life mean so much to me, and have undoubtedly shaped who I am – a sentiment I can imagine is familiar to many of you reading this.

It took me some time to realize that the networking fatigue many describe is a symptom of a much larger, global reality. Today's world can feel uncertain. Whether it's a bifurcated economy, shifting balances of international relations, or deep cultural transformation driven by rapid technological advancements… most major systems are changing in real time before our eyes. These systemic pressures force an obsession with speed and hyper-efficiency across the workforce.

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Hyper-efficiency as the underlying current that silently drifts us apart.

How can we make X more efficient?

How can we optimize for Y?

How can we improve productivity for Z?

That current is underneath us all right now and it influences not only our industries and the way we work, but also the way we interact with one another at a human level.

I am not blind to the fact that many of you reading this may exist at the forefront of innovation and technology in your respective ecosystems – environments which require speed, and where there are only so many hours in the day to try and reach a finish line that oftentimes, keeps moving.

The catch is that we have started measuring our own success and value by how much output we can generate in the shortest amount of time. I believe this is corrupting how we think about building the relationships and trust that are required to create great teams, companies, and communities. The zeitgeist has distorted our understanding of networking, turning what should be authentic relationship building into a routine, transactional hustle.

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Don't get caught in the riptide.

While networking and relationship building are often conflated, they have entirely different connotations and lived meanings.

Networking: transactional, goal-oriented, strategic, calculated

Relationship Building: organic, mutual, ongoing, reciprocity, shared history

The efficiency current I mentioned above is fueling the sociocultural riptide that pulls us away from relationship building toward nothing more than networking. We are so caught up with making every moment and interaction output-driven that we sometimes forget about what makes people feel and be connected: genuine curiosity. Curiosity about people, who they are, where they come from, why they make the decisions they make.

When enough of us get stuck in the riptide of treating opportunities to connect as mere networking, we stop relating and simply exchange. This creates a transactional cycle that dismantles our ability to truly understand and build something meaningful with one another.

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The bottom line and the biohack.

If you're the type of person who wants the research, you'll be glad to know there is some data behind this thinking. Harvard Business School released a study that found that organization-level networks, driven by the underlying employee networks, are a real indicator to company success. Companies that are more central to their respective communities tend to produce more patented innovations, and those innovations are typically more scientifically and economically valuable. What is even more interesting is that a lot of this effect is driven by mid-level employees, not just leadership. So from a business standpoint if you are a GP, a founder, or a CEO, this is a pretty good sign that you should be encouraging your team to get involved in their communities.

At a personal level, the benefits get even better. A study on older adults found that people with 'enriched' networks, marked by diverse, active relationships, reported the highest levels of self-rated health, a measure that is strongly associated with overall well-being. Those in 'restricted' networks that are smaller and more isolated centered mostly on family, also reported significantly poorer health. Most of you reading know that personal relationships matter, but the enriched networks outside of just your family and friends, those that you build through work and daily life where many of us spend a lot of our time, significantly improve your well-being. It's essentially a biohack to improve your quality of life.

That said, there is also a reality check. People living in higher crime zones or rural areas simply don't have access to these kinds of opportunities. That means the frequent coworking days, countless happy hours, and endless industry events and conferences, are less available to them. As cheesy as it sounds, perhaps you can let this be a reminder to have the good ol' "attitude of gratitude." It is a privilege to work in an industry or place where the opportunity to build real relationships is at your fingertips, if you choose to use it.

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Take. Your. Time.

The next time you find yourself at a networking event, in a 1:1, or standing at the coffee machine with someone, take a moment. Ask that person how their weekend was, if they had the chance to take their kids to the new park in the neighborhood, if they've thought about trying that new restaurant around the corner, when they plan to work on that house project they told you about last time.

Because it's not a waste of your time, but part of the foundations you build upon. It's the trust that every human relationship needs, both personal and professional. Even if you already have trust with someone, you can always make that foundation stronger. It's okay to check in on people. Just because you didn't exchange deal flow, offer an introduction, or even find a common interest, that doesn't mean the interaction wasn't worthwhile. It is often the small interactions that compound over time; you'll be surprised by what you learn about people and about yourself.

In a world where everything is optimized, measured, sped up, maybe one thing worth leaving alone is the slow, inefficient, deeply human work of actually getting to know someone. That might not be a waste of time at all. It might actually be the whole point.

Having said all that, in the spirit of building foundations this feels like the right moment to introduce myself. I'm Claire and I'm an analyst at Straylight Capital. Fun fact: this is my very first piece for StartMidwest (woohoo!), and I'm hoping to write more of these in the future.

If you ever want to talk about investing, Detroit, your newest project, your favorite musician, or your "no one will believe this" story, I'd love to hear it!

That's all! Bye!

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About the author:

Claire Stevens is an analyst at Straylight Capital, a Detroit-based growth equity firm investing in B2B software and tech-enabled services. As an analyst, she helps vet deals for the firm. Outside of her work, she can be found biking Detroit or listening to her Spotify daylist.

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